No Internet Sucks!

Hello!

I normally try and write a blog sooner then this, but I've had no internet for a long time. Sucks. It's amazing how much we do online. Some say, 'internet is a choice, you don't need it.' No, it is not. So much from government help, to job search and app's are all online! Mail, pay stubs, weather, shopping....all online. And right now I'm in a VERY small town, so you want anything, Amazon here I come!

This is a short time for me to have internet for now. I hope soon to be back to normal, but circumstances have led to a blissful few days of internet.

You know small towns are hard. If you are not raised in them. They are not like T.V. where everyone knows your name. Well kinda. Expect they use it to talk behind your back. Now, not everyone, let me say that now; however, it's a lot. The gossiping, like a bunch of young teens before we're suppose to know better. Why so bad? ....better to do. Give me the Big City shadow, any day. More crime? Not as often, however, while living in this small town I've seen a few robberies, a murder, and a but load of domestic violence. In area's of this increasingly small town. Are there good, sure, and would I be so harsh if they were more honest, no. But, for the bible belt (save me) it's a very hypocritical area. Dance is not, nor will ever be evil. Free thought.....not evil. Learning, not evil. And not fitting into a box...(proudly) not evil. But they kinda teach it that it is.

Now on the whole, this is my over all issue with the human race, it's just so much more in your face when you live in a small town. Some are worse then others, some better. There are good, think out side the box people here too. A few. But they are in turn treated, differently.

I, like most  people, don't agree with what everyone says or thinks. If we all agreed I bet it would be easier and quieter, but a lot less colorful, and I expect, boring. I try to respect a different view, mostly, some views I just can't agree with because those views only cause pain, but I do try for the most part. That doesn't mean I agree or will change my opinion or thoughts just because one is presented, but I can and do listen. And not just till I speak again. Why is respect for someone such a hard thing now a days? Or maybe I shouldn't say respect, but courtesy. As humans we have the ability to know better, yet on average, we choose not do have this.

This is how it is right. All the idea's in the world, we use half for evil....do good with some and find a profit for the rest. Then deny and complain. I have no idea if I really believe we can grow out of this or not. So much art, inspiration, caring in the world. Yet over shadowed by profit, greed, 

hypocrisy.

Been on my mind. Our lives are hardened by those that don't seem to understand or just don't care about what actions they take or do can affect someone. We do make mistakes, but mostly just trying to fix and re-fix what is going on. But then, that is what most of us are trying to do right? Humans......

Life is a ball of Yarn...

Okay....

Sometimes I feel like a ball of yarn being batted around for someones amusement. Other days I feel like I'm be pulled so hard that I'm nothing but a small ball with all my string lying around me in a puddle of a mess. Then you get those rare occasions where you're filled back up, you're yarn is all neat and shinning and you've been put back together like a brand new ball. What a day.

So....why does this happen so often? What is this life? If you believe in God...well the 'Christian God', your life is only a passing moment and all your hard times will be rewarded. And, although you are suppose to live on earth and learn, you are to not be tied to it. Whatever that means. Most religions have something to that kind of ideal...either way your life is the play thing of a God, loving or not depending on the rules set forth.

What if you don't believe in a God or Fate or anything? Easy street right? No. Then everything is your fault and nothing but this life is yours. Good or bad. So what is f**&King with you? Life in general. Not sure that's any better. Maybe it is a comfort to feel like you're in control; however, even if there isn't anyone pulling the strings, bad things can and are still out of your hands a lot of the time.

I've always said, you have to take pleasure in the small things in life. I am grateful that things could have been worse a lot sooner. We will be able to fix things soon enough, but still, some aspects we didn't think would happen...did. Hence, making the few days we do have to deal, much harder, and that's what I'm talking about. The rental place we live in has never really been updated, (even the stuff that should have been, but you know that saying. 'If it ain't broke.....' Well sometimes you need to change it up anyhoo.) so yeah, worst of it is, we are doing the fixing on this rental. It has given us a little leverage due to unexpected issues with work, (thankfully) but still adds to the now annoying situation, we knew may happen, worse. Unneeded stress that is here due to others not wanted to spend a little out of pocket. (Why do we pay rent???) Members of our family out of work, (for a time), do to horrible people sitting in big offices that don't give a crap about anyone. I know, life is changing and good, bad, okay, better, crappy, ....etc. Yet, sometimes it seems like it's all bad with a little less crappy.

How does one deal? Well, you can write. Eat. Drink. Play games. Read. What is that called...? Oh, right, it's escape. We all need one. Some are better then others, but that is what we as humans do. Escape. Even if for only a little while. I do believe in God, so I know who I first get annoyed with when things stay bad, or get a little better then slide back down. (Which is a good point of bring up the other thing we love to do, complain or get crap off our chest. Rant. Yes...all good things.) This does bring me a little comfort since God does say all bad things he does allow. This may be good at times, teach you humility, compassion, and general non-dickness. And a little, 'What the Hell???' when you see someone with little to complain about. (Although they seem to do anyway over the dumbest crap. I know, I know it's important to them, come to me when you can't pay bills no matter how hard you try.) But, even these, 'lessons' or 'character building' can get a bit wearing.

 I know things are getting better, even in our little world, yet I'm rather aware how fragile that all is and that is a very big reason why I feel life is a ball of yarn. Don't get me wrong, I think you can fully pull your own strings by actions you take. No one is fully blameless in all things they do, but if your not the one pulling the strings, then whatever life is, whatever you believe in, humanity, God, luck or etc...something is batting you around. Here's the thing though, for each hardship, (more so, I think, for those times you don't really have a lot of control over, wears on you a bit more.) Just like a real ball of yarn, you never can be quite the same again. Some of this is good, you loosen up, get a little more personality, and often you find you learn how to have and be more fun as you gain experience. However, if you're not careful and you keep getting pulled out of shape, you can quickly find yourself to lose and brittle. Frayed and grumpy and soon batted out of sight with faded color and forgotten. This I fear the most. It can be hard, but it is important to take joy in the small things, the good items and people that make you smile. That way, when those hard times come, you don't hold so tight to the middle of the ball, but flex and move and allow a little pull. Some is good, and the other times, lean on the other yarn in the basket. We can all take more, when we get a brake and allow those close to us to take a little of the weight. Good luck.

-Out

To Each Their Own....

I've been around long enough to realize that life is funny. Not always, 'ha, ha' funny, but 'odd' funny. I watched a video with a friend today, that had wonderful typography, and was about education is more then going to school. This is true. School has it's place, it helps in many ways, but does it show us our true potential? Not often. Mostly do to the fact that if you don't fit in a box that helps the school, then the school is not really helping you. You just become one of the nameless numbers meant to fill it's ranks.

A lot of teachers who started out with the idea to reach a child, mold the minds of many are sadly having or have had their dreams dashed do to the politics of school districts and school boards. Parents are also creating a state of school where teaching kids, holding them accountable and learning consequence seems to be a crime. Oh and we can't forget the increasingly dumb reasons to sue school and the wonderfully smart judges that have aloud it. (Please know I'm being very sarcastic here.) Now, I'm not saying all teachers are great or are not great, or that all schools are or are not wonderful. What I am saying is, if you put nothing in, you get nothing out and school politics that are now working like government politics has got to go!

The human experiment has either failed or is somehow working, although I'd love to know how. After all, you can't gauge this by our so 'non'-judgmental media. How can we take there word on anything? Maybe if they didn't get paid and just did it for the news...like they claim, but they are now so concerned with there next money maker they stretch everything. They can't wait to tell us how bad racism is still today, leaving off all the good or non-racist people. And lets not forget another good hot topic issue when news is slow because people weren't so bad, Women's rights!  Yes, because women are still told daily how to marry, where they can or can not go and are seen so stupid they are not aloud to vote. Yes, some racist things do go on, but lets be honest with ourselves please, All ethnic groups  have these issue with others and within their own 'groups'. Same with women's rights, women have so many rights we are board and are trying to create men into women. Please, stop that by the way. I'm not a man hater nor do I want to sleep with women. Women are nuts and having me in my head is fine. All men do not need to be a women. Just saying.  So....why are we pretending that this weeks most important, 'blah, blah' issue is the most important thing and the media can't possibly spin anything? Instead of looking at it saying, 'hummm.....they must need money this week'.

My family is going through some stupid crap, all because the one's sitting in the big chairs that tell us how much they love their workers, couldn't wait to fire him and layoff another when they called them out on their bull-crap.  It's so easy for them to do that. High in the ivory tower. Why is it that the backs of the people they stepped on to each the ivory tower are so worthless to the ivory tower people? Oh, right, because we allow it. Why? Because for some reason we are so afraid to loss our job well let them write us up on false write-ups so we can continue to be underpaid. Why is that again?? How easily we forget that nothing changes unless we change it. Stand together or crumble apart. Right now we chose crumble it would seem.

We can pretend, but what the hell is America so proud of anymore? Wonderful boss that care? No. People that look out for their neighbor? Not normally. OH, I know, we at least have a government that cares for the people, works For the people and doesn't see us as nameless cattle that is to stupid to realize that we are expendable. No....wait. We are cattle that the government uses and gauges us as acceptable losses. When convenient. The rich once again dictating life. How....refreshing.