It's been a while since I posted. Life has been, well up and down, but who hasn't right? When I look back at all the moments I just thought would never end, or had no resolution in sight, I'm glade to be looking back at that moment to see that somehow we got through those times. I believe in God, always have and helps to believe he has a plan during these times of tribulation. To have that faith to rely on, even when the sad truth is that sometimes bad things must just come, it helps keep me slightly more sane.(Not that I don't cry, yell and scream sometimes anyway.)
Sometimes
I can see things, I would call miracle happen. From small to big. A
small miracle that was big to us would was the very fact of us not only getting in to our 3 bedroom apartment, but also
with no issues. And there could have been! Another small one is when I
finally had money to spend at Goodwill for clothes, not only did I find
most of what I needed on sale, but they had some very cute things. Which
doesn't always happen. I'm more of a Value Village Gal myself. So yes, even though not all of our life is one hundred percent fixed, I believe it is getting there.
Now,
sadly I have no real connection with my family, expect with my brother.
It has been a study downhill slide since the unexpected death of my dad. It is
what it is. I could go into why most of it has nothing to do with me,
but whether true or only my perception of truth, unless you lived my little life, it's hard to understand. Hell, I don't even fully understand. I can say, our little family has
been going through a lot, starting with the move here to OR in general.
Which I may have talked about in my first blog, not sure. We have had a
lot of up's and down's, and sadly, without the help of a dear friend, I
have no idea where we would be right now. I wish I could say that about
family, and if my dad was still alive, I'm sure I would have.
I
guess I still have issues about my feelings on this, as it is still coming out in
my writing. The biggest thing I need to work on is fully letting things go. Letting the
chips fall. I think of the people I once called family, wonder what they
are up to, or if they think of me, but then I let it go, (for the most part). My brother, as with my whole life, is
still close family, but other then those in my home now, sadly that is all I have. I guess those, all family's are
complicated to some kind of point, even if they are the only ones that see it.
Now, TV shows and a lot of
movies got family right. Or I should say, what we want it to be. It's
like Christmas, once you take out all the commercialization from it and
just enjoy the holiday, it can be a great and magical time. Even if you don't
celebrate Christmas as a remembrance of Jesus, it's still a very symbolical time
for family and friends, caring for your neighbor and generally being
kinder to your fellow man. Something most of us cannot keep the whole
year, sadly. However, it seems during Christmas, most people do seem to be a little bit more open
to the idea. At any rate, some of the family values I learned from TV and Movies...(sad huh?)...I do try and put into my day to day life.
I'm
not fully sure where I'm going with this blog today. My thoughts
are...random. But, then I warned you there would be days like today. I
suppose on an up note, I'm writing a children's picture book, a few young
adult stories and even have my first Fan-Faction story up. I'll be posting my own Fiction on a sister sight to my Fan-Faction very soon.
Well, I think I have rambled on a bit, so I think I'll close out this blog with a 'food for thought' thought. If, you could change something in your life, take it back, would you? Or, is having those things happen, even bad things, made you who you are? If you're not happy with yourself, will you change and move forward, or stay idle and hate yourself and blame the the world?
No comments:
Post a Comment